he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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