I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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