Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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