dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
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Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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