i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
