All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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