the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
