I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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