Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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