He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
operation have a gay friend backfired
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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