I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
