Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She announced her abortion via fbk
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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