Don't make out with my wife yet
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
