dude i'm inner monologue high
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
