I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
"it" just moved
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
