By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
