Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thus making me awesome and them whores
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he fucked my hip out of place.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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