Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
