doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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