Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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