Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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(925): View more from California

He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball

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(225): View more from Louisiana

This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it

(317): View more from Indiana

is it necessary to steal the whole car?

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(607): View more from New York

I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.

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