Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
