I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize