I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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