i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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