Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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