You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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