I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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