I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"