I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize