she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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