Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(650): View more from California

We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

youre welcome

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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(586): View more from Michigan

And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one

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(905): View more from Ontario

We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?

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