i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today