come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
