What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
