are you so shy because you have an std?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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