I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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