loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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