Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
