Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
