I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize