How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
