Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
