Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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