Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
