His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
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You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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