bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize