I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
