Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
