she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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