That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize