That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
