I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
