ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
