Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he was CRYING into my vagina
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
