we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
love makes seman taste better
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
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the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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