i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm at about main and main street
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
