i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
