how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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