Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
