Me. At least after what I've been through.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
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That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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