i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
