1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i think my mom watched the whole time
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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