well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
