Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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