I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
