Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
